Years ago, as I taught a graduate class on education methodology to student teachers, one of my graduate students raised her hand and shared in exasperation, “I’m sorry, but these teaching strategies don’t work for my socially inept students.” The room fell silent.
I wasn’t expecting this response. In particular, I was flustered by her description of students as ‘inept’ within the respectful learning environment I thought I had created: the belief that every student brings varying and valuable strengths and abilities. And that our role as educators, albeit challenging, is to analyze needs to strategically support and encourage student learning.
At that moment, my heart raced and I hesitated to reply. Thankfully, I had a bank of strategies to handle this comment. I paused to consider my graduate student’s needs, including her understandable exhaustion of working full time while learning to teach, and I reflected back to her: “It sounds like you’ve been working hard to apply different strategies to support your students’ needs, but you notice the methods we’ve covered in this course aren’t the right fit yet. Is that right?” She nodded and shared a few more details about her circumstance. I added, “It can take time and research. Let’s keep in mind that all students are capable in their own ways. I’d be happy to help you after class to suggest more tailored approaches.” And we carried on.
Regardless of era, age, or subject area that you teach in higher education, navigating sensitive conversations, including unexpected ones, is a skill that can be developed over time. Like any practice, there may be successes and challenges along the way which productively shape how we continue.
Recently, I had the privilege of attending a New York University TeachTalk: Planning for Unexpected Sensitive Conversations in the Classroom led by Carly Suita, Director of Impact and Social Learning Initiatives, and Emy Cardoza, Director of Global Inclusion and Faculty Development at NYU.
The Office of Global Inclusion (OGI) at NYU hosts several TeachTalks on inclusive instruction. This particular Zoom offering was focused on planning ahead for and practicing how to handle difficult conversations in the classroom.
Key takeaways from the workshop included:
Model of framing norms and expectations: During the workshop, the expert facilitators meta-modeled how to set up an inclusive conversation by proactively framing what would and would not be covered in our time-limited learning experience. They also offered simple norms for respectful engagement, including language examples, and clarified how participants can engage in the chat box. By engaging in this experience as a participant, it reaffirmed that planning in advance using resource-supported strategies reduces unexpected challenges in group discussion, such as feeling excluded or offended.
Research-based responses with scripts: Given that unexpected sensitive comments are bound to occur in any learning space even with proactive planning, the facilitators highlighted scripted responses for use in different scenarios: responding with empathy, asking a clarifying question, responding when you are personally impacted, naming group dynamics currently happening, and more. For example, if a classroom discussion escalates, you might name the current dynamic: “I sense the energy just changed in the room. Let’s pause and breathe for a moment before we continue.”
Questions and Answers: As participants, we were invited to ask relevant questions in the chat throughout the TeachTalk, to which the facilitators would respond. The facilitators also prioritized fifteen minutes of time for us to ask questions at the end, sharing not only their expert responses but also inviting participants to share respectful suggestions as a collaborative learning opportunity. As an added best-practice, the hosts invited participant feedback and questions in a short closing survey.
All NYU faculty and administrators can opt-in to TeachTalks. If you missed this TeachTalk, “Planning for Unexpected Sensitive Conversations in the Classroom,” watch the recording here (NYU login required).
Image credit: Gerd Altmann, Pixabay, 2025
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